The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
by Jinu-chan
Summary: Ever wonder what the oddest matches were in Escaflowne? I got 'em here, fresh off the presses. Chapter 1: Van and Dornkirk! (Don't worry, no lemon... ewww)


This one's for you, K-chan! Happy early birthday!  
  
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: Bad couples of Escaflowne.  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own Escaflowne! HE DOES!! (Points at president of Sunrise!) Get him!!  
Warnings: Well, K-chan (that's Kaylee, if you wanna read her stories) and I were talking on the phone, the other night, when we decided to write a bunch of fan fics with bad couples, in our opinions. She wrote one on Megami Kouhosei, and posted the first chapter the other day. As a surprise to her, I am writing one from Escaflowne, the second anime she started to watch! Remember, these are bad couples in *our* opinions, or at least mine. Don't be offend if your favorite character couples are on this list, it's just my opinion! Some times, they can get a little OOC!  
On with the show!  
  
Chapter One: What goes up must come down  
(Dornkirk and Van)  
  
Dornkirk woke up one morning, out of the blue. He had been freed of his mechanical devices, by Folken, yet he lived on. It puzzled him as to how fate was toying with him, but he guessed revenge would be coming. He decided to go for a walk around, to get his bearings straight. Seeing as he couldn't alter fate anymore, he decided to try to live life as an ordinary old man. Well, as ordinary as you can be, while maintaining homicidal tendencies.  
  
He walked until he came to a boy with blue hair. He was wearing a red shirt hand had a blue tattoo on his arm. He was reading, as well. Dorkirk went over to him.  
  
"You are the king of Fanaila," he stated.  
  
"...no," the boy replied.  
  
"You are, you are! You're Van! King of Fanalia."  
  
"Nope, I'm the king of Avon."  
  
"What, where?"  
  
"Look, you got me confused with that OTHER Van... See, I have a tattoo on my arm, that guy doesn't. His name is Van 'I'm-so-cool-'cause-I'm-on-TV' Fanel. My name is Van 'barbarian-without-a-cause-sad -little-person-you-should-love."  
  
"Oh, I see..." Dornkirk said, looking rather depressed. Van seemed to be holding a grudge against people.  
  
"What did you wanna see him for?"  
  
"Oh, I just wanted to threaten... er... talk to him."  
  
"Ahh, I see, well, I can't help you there, buddy."  
  
"I had a perfect line too. I was gonna ask him if he wanted me to kill him, like I killed his brother."  
  
"Don't talk about brothers..."  
  
"His brother's name was Folken. He died trying to kill me."  
  
"Well, MY brother was named Dune. He called himself Folken, though. He was such a wanna-be. 'Oh yeah, I wanna end the world and all that crap, ya know, 'cause I'm a big dumbass!'" Van quoted, in a voice he reserved for his brother alone.  
  
"Seems you had a loving relationship... Talk to me about it!"  
  
*hours later*  
  
"And when I was nine, he called me a 'poo-poo face!' My own brother!" Van sniffled, looking up at Dornkirk, with teary eyes.  
  
"Sometimes people don't mean what they say. I'm sure he didn't want to hurt you."  
  
**later on**  
  
"So then the goddess left, too!" Van said, choking back tears.  
  
"That's okay, you don't need someone who'll leave you."  
  
"I know! But they all leave!" Van cried , tears falling down his face.  
  
"Let it out," the old man replied, "Let it all out."  
  
"I just want someone to love me, for who I am!"  
  
"I care about you," Dornkirk said sincerely.  
  
"R-really? You wouldn't just use me?"  
  
"Never," he replied, grabbing a blue pill from his pocket.  
  
******* five and a half minutes later *******  
  
"Wow," Dornkirk said. "That was amazing."  
  
Van looked up at him. "Holy shit what have I done!"  
  
"Wh-what?" Dorkirk asked shocked  
  
"You're older than GOD! Eww!"  
  
Dornkirk was crushed, he just wanted someone to love him, too. With that, he died of a broken heart.  
  
"Oh, thank God!" Van said, "Now no one will ever know."  
  
He dumped the body in the lake, and went back to the tree he was reading by. He picked up his book, and removed the bookmark. Some one had just written a note on it. The note read: "I know what you did five minutes ago."  
  
Van gasped and looked around suspiciously.  
  
~ The End of Chapter One ~  
Well, sorry I killed Dornkirk, but he had already died, right? So who wrote the mysterious letter, anyway? I don't know, that's up to you.  
Review me, please, or I'll sick Dorney on you!  
~ Jinu-chan 


End file.
